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Down to the Derby

WITH RHYMES ON THE ROAD

Fun, VI - 28th May 1864


Illustration by Gilbert

Waggon and cart, ready to start,
  Early in morning at six, six;
Gallons of beer, stowed away here,
  Twiggery, swiggery, quick sticks.
Empty before, fill 'em once more;
  Women look trim in their caps, caps;
Screaming in fun, never say done,
  Joking and poking the chaps, chaps.
Sweeps in a truck, swells out of luck,
  Laughery, chaffery, grin, grin;
Travelling show, dwarf hid below,
  Eye on his giantess' gin, gin.

Twiggery, swiggery, shinery, finery, laughery, chaffery, pokery, jokery;
  Down to the Derby as all of us go,
These are the sights that we each of us know
Yet off to the Downs as we often have been,
Still every year is some novelty seen.

Ten of the clock, carriages flock
  Round to the doors at the West-end;
People who seem, skimming the cream,
  To have laid hold of life at the best end.
Phaeton and pair, baronet there,
  Lovely young girl with a smile, smile;
Look all about, splendid turn out,
  Everything done in good style, style.
Hampers retain lots of champagne,
  Hungerly, vulgarly, prog, prog,
Nothing more seek, nice little shriek,
  Missing him, kissing him, dog, dog.

Flunkeydom, monkeydom, finery, whinery, livery, shivery, fowlery, growlery —
  Down to the Derby as all of us go,
These are the sights that we each of us know
Yet off to the Downs as we often have been,
Still every year is some novelty seen.

Clapham we pass, schools in a mass,
  Up at the windows we go by,
Playful as mice, governess nice,
  Thinkery, winkery, oh, fie!
Balham the dull, vote it a mull,
  Marchery, starchery, slow, slow;
Tooting the next, sticks to its text,
  Travelly, gravelly, oh! oh!
Sutton a whet, thirsty we get,
  Palery alery, take, take;
Smart four-in-hand comes to a stand,
  Legs of the longest ones ache, ache.

Drinkery, winkery, palery alery, laughery, chaffery, crash along, dash along —
  Down to the Derby as all of us go,
These are the sights that we each of us know
Yet off to the Downs as we often have been,
Still every year is some novelty seen.

Trudging along, two dozen strong,
  Wearily, drearily, riff-raff,
Swells at them stare, singing the air
  Of Saturday's opera, "Piff paff."
Handful of coin all of them join,
  Rambling, scrambling, pick up;
Rowing for more, won't have "encore,"
  Frightening, tightening, stick up.
Posturers two come into view,
  Rummer set, summerset throwing;
Over they turn (don't try and learn),
  All that they get for it owing.

Palery alery, smokery, jokery, rambling, scrambling, crash along, dash along—
  Down to the Derby as all of us go,
These are the sights that we each of us know
Yet off to the Downs as we often have been,
Still every year is some novelty seen.

Under the trees, beautiful breeze,
  Lilacs in blossom we smell, smell;
May at last out (long while about),
  Country looks charming we tell, tell.
Everything seen, looking so green,
  Picture of verdure and so on;
Wonder if we green, too, shall be,
  As to the horse we should go on.
Pike and "no trust," up comes the dust —
  Pay away, dray away, got, got;
Dustman before, oaths by the score,
  Fit for the drawing-room not, not.

Flurrying, worrying, holloing, following; lay away, pay away, crash along, dash along—
  Down to the Derby as all of us go,
These are the sights that we each of us know
Yet off to the Downs as we often have been,
Still every year is some novelty seen.

Epsom at last, nearing it fast,
  Smackery, crackery, whip, whip;
There's the Grand Stand, now close at hand,
  Think it a nice little trip, trip.
Get a good view, this one will do,
  Squeezing it, seizing it, rush, rush;
Downs looking smooth, CARELESS's Booth,
  Go in and get a good brush, brush.
Every one here, seems to appear,
  "How d'ye do?" "How are you?" nod, nod;
Some friends about, can't find 'em out,
  Look for them, hook for them, odd, odd.

Smackery, snackery, scenery, greenery, Leger bit, hedge a bit, look about, shook about —
  Down to the Derby as all of us go,
These are the sights that we each of us know
Yet off to the Downs as we often have been,
Still every year is some novelty seen.

Now take your place, this is the race,
  Universe, tune a verse, fame, fame;
Cards to be sold, everything told,
  Colours of riders and name, name.
Buzz! off they go, galloping so,
  Bothery, dothery, eye, eye;
Look as they pass, out with the glass,
  ,Can't find the focus to spy, spy.
Yonder they run, some horse has won
  Up with the number and see, see;
Whichever is in, hundreds may win,
  But thousands will diddled like me be.

Cantering, bantering, cheering 'em, nearing spy away, fly away, dothery, bothery —
  Down to the Derby as all of us go,
These are the sights that we each of us know
Yet off to the Downs as we often have been,
Still every year is some novelty seen.

Derby complete, something to eat;
  Out with the provender, crush, crush;
Somebody walks off with the forks,
  Bring out the bottles and lush, lush.
Plenty of pie, salad is nigh,
  Lettuces, let us seize, cool, cool;
POPKINS an ass, broken a glass,
  Grittling, victualling, fool, fool;
Take to the wine, your health and mine,
  Drinkery, thinkery, nice, nice;
Off with the cup, finish it up,
  Sopping it, mopping it, trice, trice.

Readily, saidily, rather unsteadily, trickling, prickling, toiletty, spoiletty —
  Down to the Derby as all of us go,
These are the sights that we each of us know
Yet off to the Downs as we often have been,
Still every year is some novelty seen.

Stroll on the course — one of the force,
  Piping and wiping his brow, now;
Handkerchief missed, called to assist,
  Robbery, bobbery, row, row.
Off with a watch, guard but a botch,
  Tickery, quickery, fled, fled;
Fortune to tell, know it too well,
  Gipsying, tipsying, head, head.
Ground seems to turn, throat seems to burn,
  Whirl about, twirl about, steer clear;
Find out the drag, quizzed by a wag,
  Jokery, smokery, queer, queer.

Robbery, bobbery, watchery, botchery, dangling, wrangling, mumbling, grumbling —
  Down to the Derby as all of us go,
These are the sights that we each of us know
Yet off to the Downs as we often have been,
Still every year is some novelty seen.

Eaten a snack, time to be back,
  Hurrying, scurrying, start, start;
Road as before, crammed but the more,
  With carriage and phaeton and cart, cart.
Out come the stars, light up cigars,
  Brandy and soda you must, must;
Road dry again, where was the rain?
  Smokery, chokery, dust, dust.
Come to a block, just at "The Cock,"
  Famous inn, same as in past time;
Pale ale to boot, take a cheroot,
  "Dal be, it shall be the last time."

Hurrying, scurrying, hampering, scampering, smokery, jokery, crash along, dash along —
  Up from the Derby as all of us go,
These are the sights that we each of us know
Yet off to the Downs as we often have been,
Still every year is some novelty seen.

Come to a pike, just what you like,
  Ticketing, stick it in, stop, stop;
Plenty of fun, never say done,
  Hattery, flattery, drop, drop.
Driving along, "let's have a song,"
  Mystery, history, none, none;
Dozens of keys, take which you please,
  Blowing horns, showing horns — Lon-don.
Lamps down the road, near your abode,
  Flare away, glare away, far, far;
Kennington-gate, longer to wait,
  Loud din and crowding at bar, bar.

Ticketing, stick it in, hattery, battery, flare away, stare away, splashery, dashery —
  Up from the Derby as all of us go,
These are the sights that we each of us know
Yet off to the Downs as we often have been,
Still every year is some novelty seen.

Home get at last, going it fast,
  Lifery, wifery, look, look;
Had no excess, buy a new dress,
  Made it all right with your "book, book."
Wake the next day, think of the way,
  How will the debts you incur be;
Or more to your mind, glad that you find,
  You did pretty well on the Derby.
Anyhow you think it will do,
  Not going now to be vexed here;
Hoping to spend with a "party" or friend,
  A holiday, Jolly day, next year.

Theatre, be at a, upper rooms, supper rooms,
  choppery, moppery,steakery, rakery,
singing too, bringing too, holiday, jolly day;
  Fun thus we see as of old on the road,
This is the channel through which it has flowed;
Often to Epsom as people have been,
These are the fancies that freshen the scene.

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