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Sir Galahad the Golumptious

A MOST DOLEFUL BALLAD

Fun, V - 15th June 1867


Illustration by Gilbert
list to a dismal story,
  Oh, list to a mournful tale,
Oh, list to me, Whig and Tory,
  Oh, list to my woeful wail!

SIR GALAHAD was hale and hearty,
  Extremely tall and bold and strong;
Still with this exceptional party
  Everything went always wrong:

 

Oh, whenever himself he treated
  Oh, accidents would occur;
Oh, where'er himself he seated,
  Oh, somebody placed a spur.

 

Illustration by Gilbert
Ever floored by clumsy coaches,
  Someone always stole his DENT;
In his bread he found cockroaches
  Ever the chief ingredient!

 

Oh, shirts with a faithful button,
  Oh, GALAHAD ne'er could find;
Oh, whenever his coat he put on,
  Oh, the collar stuck up behind.

 

Illustration by Gilbert
When with hunger almost starving,
  Toothache racked his temper hard —
When a round of cold beef carving,
  Ever forgot to use the guard.

 

Oh, orderly though behaving,
  Oh, ever before the beak;
Oh, when he attempted shaving,
  Oh, horribly slashed his cheek.

 

When he drank 'twas always fated
  He should overturn his cup;
When in a company speculated,
  Somebody came and wound it up.

 

Illustration by Gilbert
Oh, making mistakes in talking;
  Oh, prey to the merest thief;
Oh, whenever in August walking,
  O-mitted his handkerchief!

 

When he followed home a lady
  (Which, I own, was hardly right),
Always found she turned out shady —
  Short of an eye or black as night!

 

Oh, ain't it a dismal story,
  Oh, ain't it a mournful tale —
Oh, isn't it, Whig and Tory,
  Oh, ain't it a woeful wail!

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