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Something Like Nonsense Verses

Fun, I - 10th & 24th June 1865

1. — THE HIGHLAND JEW

I saw a red-haired Jew from Aberdeen,
  In a gaberdine,
At the Tabard Inn,
He wore a sword which was its scabbard in,
  On a Wednesday!

2. — THE PIOUS Q.C.

I saw MR. BIG BEN DENISON,
  Ask a benison
On some venison,
Which he bought of ALFRED TENNYSON,
  On a Wednesday.

3. — THE GREEK MAIDEN

I beg to state I love a yaller miss,
  Born at Salamis,
And this gal, or miss,
Bound to meet me down at Balham is,
  Every Wednesday!

4. — THE WORTHY INDEPENDENT MINISTER

A worthy Independent minister,
  Born at Finisterre,
Turning sinister,
Smothered his wife with fumes of kinaster
  On a Wednesday!

5. — THE UNHAPPY MARRIAGE

Once I married a cook from charity,
  But disparity,
And hair carrotty,
Made me treat her with barbarity
  Every Wednesday!

6. — THE SENSATION OPERA TROUPE

I know a man who's going to offer GYE
  Anthropophagi
(Or androphagi),
Who will sing with French hippophagi
  Every Wednesday!

7. — THE UNFORTUNATE REVELLERS

Tipsy gents, the type of snobbery,
  Drunk and slobbery,
Make a bobbery,
And the victims are of robbery
  Every Wednesday.

8. — THE JEALOUS DANCER

As I waltzed with JANE deliciously,
  JONES officiously,
Injudiciously,
Bumped against us both most viciously,
  On a Wednesday.

9. — THE POLITE STUDENT

A civil student at my college (he
  Learns horology
And conchology)
Offers me a full apology
  Every Wednesday.

10. — THE UNDIGNIFIED NOBLEMAN

I know a nobleman whose publicity
  And complicity
In mendicity
Is a fact of authenticity
  Every Wednesday.

11. — THE ABSURD CHANCELLOR

Once a chancellor of acidity
  And timidity,
With rapidity
Used to sing out "Rum ti iddy ti!"
  Every Wednesday.

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