MIDI File 2 min. 44 seconds

NoteWorthy File

When information I receive that Jones has been a-forging,
And on the proceeds of his crime is prodigally gorging,
Do you suppose I collar my friend and take him to the beak, ma'am?
Why, bless your heart, they wouldn't retain me in the force a week, ma'am.

In curious wig and quaint disguise, and strangely altered face, ma'am,
Unrecognised I follow my prey about from place to place, ma'am;
I note his hair, his eyes, his nose, his clothing and complexion,
And when I have got 'em all into my head, I set about detection.

I take his servants, one by one, and bring them all to book, ma'am,
Both man and maid of every grade, particularly his cook, ma'am;
His tradesmen then I call upon, examine 'em on their oaths, ma'am;
And the elderly man, of the Hebrew clan, who buys his left-off clothes, ma'am.

His father-in-law, perhaps, is buffalo hunting in the Prairies,
His aunt may keep a lodging-house in the ocean-girt Canaries;
His uncle's out in Honolulu, his neice in arctic zones, ma'am,
I find them out and talk to them before arresting Jones, ma'am.

And when my call is quite complete, and home again I fly, ma'am,
I find that Jones has gone abroad, some people are so sly, ma'am;
But I've this consolation - all the facts that I've collated,
Would surely have transported Jones - if Jones had only waited.

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Page created 6 January 2002