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No. 8: Not Long Ago
(ROMANCE)
| Box. |
Not long ago it was my fate
To captivate a widow, at Ramsgate;
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| Cox. |
I, 'tis odd to state,
The same at Margate did, oh!
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| Box. |
By her not liking to be kissed
I thought I'd better try to
In the Life Guards or Blues enlist; |
| Cox. |
| How odd! and so did I too. |
| Box. |
| I was not tall enough they said; |
| Cox. |
| Too short they said of me; |
| Box. |
| The infantry I entered, |
| Cox. |
| And I the infantree; |
| Box. |
My widow offer'd to purchase my
Discharge from the marching line, oh! |
| Cox. |
That's odd, coincidentally,
The very same did mine, oh! |
| Box. |
I hesitated to consent,
For my consent she waited.
I gave it. |
| Cox. |
Ah! with mine I went,
And never hesitated. |
| Box. |
The happy day came near at length,
We hoped it would be sunny,
I found I needed all my strength
To face the ceremony.
I suddenly found out I was unworthy to possess her,
I told her so at once because I fear'd it might distress her.
Before the words were out of my mouth
There came from the north and flew to the south,
A something that came unpleasantly near,
Clattering, splattering, battering, shattering,
Dashing, clashing, smashing, crashing,
Missing, but whizzing right past my ear.
It shattered itself on the mantel-piece, whop!
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| Box. |
Ah! tremble, the basin called slop.
It fell at my feet, it would have put
The back of a man who was ever so meek up,
So being thus bated, I retaliated,
And hurl'd at my widow a crockery tea cup.
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| Cox. |
| Between you, then, there was a fraction. |
| Box. |
| And I was threatened with an action. |
| Box. |
One morn, when I had finished my ablution,
I took — |
| Box. |
No sir, a resolution.
Friends or foes,
None suppose,
Nobody knows
What I does,
I tie up my clothes,
My shirt and my hose,
My socks for my toes,
My linen for nose,
I think of my woes,
And under the rose,
I pack up my bundle and off I goes.
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| Cox. (spoken) |
| Ha! I see you left in a tiff! |
| Box. |
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Listen!
I solemnly walked to the cliff,
And singing a sort of a dulcet dirge,
Put down my bundle upon the verge,
Heard the wild sea-gull's mournful cry,
Looked all around, there was nobody nigh,
None but I on the cliff so high,
And all save the sea was bare and dry,
And I took one look at the wave below,
And I rais'd my hand in an agony throe,
And I stood on the edge of the rock so steep,
And I gaz'd like a maniac on the deep.
I cried: "Farewell, farewell to earth,
Farewell, farewell to the land of my birth,
Farewell, farewell to my only love,
To the sea below and the sky above!"
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Mr. Box (John Dean) describes to Mr. Cox (George Cummidge) how he faked an imaginary suicide to escape the attentions of Penelope Ann.
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With a glance at the sea of wild despair, I cried, "I come,"
My bundle lay there,
At the edge where the coastguard's way was chalked,
Then away —
In the opposite way I walked.
| Cox. |
What a clever man
What a capital plan,
I've listened with attention,
I think that I should like to try
Your wonderful invention. |
| Box. |
Cox. |
What a clever man,
What a capital plan,
You've listened with attention.
If you like it, why
Should you not try
My wonderful invention. |
What a clever man,
What a capital plan,
I've listened with attention.
I think that I
Should like to try
Your wonderful invention. |
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Page Created
14 May, 2007
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MIDI File [31KB, 5' 36 "]
