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No. 2: CHORUS & DUET (Scaphio & Phantis)
"O make way for the Wise Men"
March. Enter Guard, escorting Scaphio & Phantis.
| Chorus. |
O make way for the Wise Men!
They are prize-men —
Double-first in the world's university!
For though lovely this island
(Which is my land),
She has no one to match them in her city.
They're the pride of Utopia —
Cornucopia
Is each in his mental fertility.
O they never make blunder,
And no wonder,
For they're triumphs of infallibility.
So make way for the Wise Men!
They are prize-men —
Double-first in the world's university!
For though lovely this island
(Which is my land),
She has no one to match them in her city. |
| Scaphio. |
Phantis. |
| In every mental lore |
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-tal lore |
| (The statement smacks of vanity) |
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We claim to rank before |
| before |
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The wisest of humanity. |
| As gifts of head and heart |
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and heart |
| We're wasted on "utility," |
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We're "cast" to play a part |
| a part |
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Of great responsibility. |
| Our duty is to spy |
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to spy |
| Upon our King's illicities, |
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And keep a watchful eye |
| -ful eye |
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On all his eccentricities. |
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John le Hay as Phantis & W. H. Denny as Scaphio, 1893
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| Both. |
If ever a trick he tries, he tries
That savours of rascality,
At our decree he dies, he dies
Without the least formality. |
| Scaphio. |
Phantis. |
| We fear no rude rebuff, |
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rebuff, |
| Or newspaper publicity; |
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Our word is quite enough, |
| enough, |
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The rest is electricity. |
| A pound of dynamite |
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-amite |
| Explodes in his auriculars; |
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It's not a pleasant sight — |
| -sant sight — |
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We'll spare you the particulars. |
| Its force all men confess, |
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confess, |
| The King needs no admonishing — |
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We may say its success |
| success |
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Is something quite astonishing. |
| Both. |
Our despot it imbues, imbues
With virtues quite delectable,
He minds his P's and Q's, and Q's, —
And keeps himself respectable. |
| Scaphio. |
Of a tyrant polite |
| Phantis. |
He's a paragon quite. |
| Scaphio. |
He's as modest and mild |
| Phantis. |
In his ways as a child; |
| Scaphio. |
And no one e'er met
With an autocrat yet, |
| Phantis. |
So delightfully bland
To the least in the land! |
| Both. |
So delightfully bland
To the least in the land,
So bland, so bland! |
| Chorus. |
O make way for the Wise Men!
They are prize-men —
Double-first in the world's university!
For though lovely this island
(Which is my land),
She has no one to match them in her city. |
Exeunt all but Scaphio & Phantis.
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Page Created
21 November, 2005
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